There are some things in life that are inexplicable. Strange things that happen which can't be explained. Sometimes things happen that you are so grateful for, but never in a million years could you replicate it to happen again. 

Hopefully, we don't have another 100-year pandemic or another isolation period like the one we had in 2020. 

Everyone, will look back on 2020 and say, I rather not have to look back at it. Rather not have to go through all of that again. 

But I would go through it all again to make sure I would meet you. I won't look back on 2020 other than it being one of the best years of my life.

As we approach Christmas and new years, I always take the time to reflect and think about the year just gone by. So many doors have closed this year, we have had to make our own. We've had to learn to negotiate the loneliness of isolation, the anxiety of the immediate future, and the prospect of a very uncertain time in the future. We have had to learn to make the best of the worst situation.

But I am so glad we were able to do that together.

You were always there, every weekend to make it fun and punctuate each of my weeks with a bright full stop. With each weekend, each phone call, and each date I grew more and more in love you. I've learned so much about your unyielding determination, your irrepressible charm, and your gorgeous smile. 

Your damn smile. Your damn charming smile that I can never get out of my mind.

But it's not just all of those aspects of you that make you so extraordinary. It's a lot of that don't get me wrong. It's everything we were able to do in 2020. We went ahead with our relationship, we didn't put anything on hold. We made everything fun, found new things to do week in, week out. You and I were determined to learn about each other to take a chance on each other and our relationship.

It's the fact that despite everything, we went for it. Even when things got really tough, we didn't think about throwing in the towel.

The coming years will hopefully be a little smoother and cleaner, with fewer restrictions. Even without restrictions, there's still going to be times where we will be upset with each other. There's going to be times when we don't see eye to eye. The issues might be small, or they might be large. There's going to be times where we won't be happy with each other. We might argue and fight. There will be times when we learn things about each other that we don't love. Or like even. 

Or might even be a deal breaker.

But if nothing else, despite it all, 2020 and the past year with you shows that we're always going to be there for each other. That we'll fight for each other and that we don't think about blaming each other. We'll work for us and we'll always try to have fun. 2020 has shown that whatever the challenge the world throws at us and whatever life has in store for us we'll be work through it.

That's why I love you, that's why I think you're amazing and that's why whilst I hope we never have another 100 year pandemic, I want to spend the next 100 years with you. 

Many years ago, I wrote a poem I was younger, naive and hoping that someone would come in my life. 

I think now, that I wrote it for you.

There are some that never should have been, that were

There are some that should have been, that never were

You and I are neither of those

You and I always were and always should have been

Merry Christmas Sherry

Yours always,

Jackson Chen

~December 2020~

 

I struggle with being with people

I struggle being by myself

I struggle with wanting

I struggle when I want nothing

I struggle with what people expect of me

I struggle with what I want of myself and what I expect of myself

I struggle to justify my goals

I struggle with the fact I have to justify my goals

I struggle with being a man

I struggle with opening up

I struggle to get excited

I struggle with being bored

I don't struggle with being part of humanity

But I struggle with humanity

~TastyJack~

Luck doesn't know

the late nights

or the early mornings

and the hours in between

Luck is what we blame

When others do well

It is jealousy's friend

Luck cheapens achievements

Forgets planning

Ignores training

Luck mocks success

Luck is nothing

But an excuse

~TastyJack~

Love is Love

Yesterday, enrollment for the plebiscite closed and voting now can being in earnest.

Everyone has read the rhetoric; this plebiscite should never have happened but now that we have we may as well go on with it. It shouldn't cost 122 million, the ABS shouldn't be handling it after the census debacle and why are we even bothering if it's not even binding.

We should bother because it makes a difference.

The plebiscite as a whole is unprecedented, giving Australian a tangible chance to voice our views to our government. 

The optional nature of this vote is a double edge sword. With a strong voter turnout we can show the government that we truly care about this issue but on the other hand a low voter turnout will weaken the validity of any result, particularly a yes result.

It is also a chance for young people to prove the adage that young people don't care about society wrong. Make no mistake, this plebiscite will show a clear generational divide. 

Failure to vote in the upcoming plebiscite will effectively annul our right to further protest about this policy and to a lesser extent government policy in general.

A while back I paid five dollars (with a twenty cent handling charge) to see Julian Burnside QC speak about Australians and our attitude towards refugees. Burnside was introduced to a sold out room full of mostly (bleary eyed) first year law students as "one of the leading voices for human rights and Australia's treatment of refugees."

In his speech, Burnside was extensively critical of Australia's policy towards the refugees and asylum seekers in detention. Rather than criticise the public and society in general, he was openly critical of the government and the policy that multiple cabinets has set. At the end of the session, I wanted to ask Burnside what does it say about Australia as a whole if we keep on voting in multiple governments who implement such extremely negative refugee policies.

It is easy to constantly criticize the government for its policy, but taking no proactive action and electing repetitive governments that has the same policy and then screaming for change after the fact seems borderline negligent to me. 

The difference between the equality issue and refugees is that we never had this plebiscite. This is a real chance for Australian to speak up and force the government to listen to its people.

So I urge you, in this coming plebiscite to vote. For the affirmative or negative, it doesn't matter, but it is important for Australians to make their voices heard beyond endless protests after the fact.

~TastyJack~

There are some decisions in this world that I need to make for myself. At the end of the day, the consequences, rewards and end products of the decisions are your own. Everyone else can give all the advice that they want, but they don’t have to live through it all. They don’t have to be in your shoes when you press that final button, accept/ decline button nor do they fully understand the circumstances surround it.

Everyone says, walk a thousand miles in another shoes before you judge. Yet so often, I find myself giving advice so freely, knowing that even after a thousand miles in another’ shoes, I still won’t understand the context of any big decisions.

At some point I need to take ownership of my decisions, instead of letting those around me, however well-intention, make them for me. I think looking over the past year it's clear which of my friends were there for me at my lowest. They were there when I needed to complain and were happy for my success. These friends are provide a stark contrast to those who can't stop talking about themselves.

There’s a time and place to let others know when you’re doing well, but it is not all the time. Sure, it’s feels good to be a braggart, but it’s not great for everyone around you.

And yeah it irks me.

~TastyJack~

Yeah, I didn't do an end of year post because it started to get a little repetitive and cliched. Really you all know who you are and how important you mean to me. 

But Jackson, it's nice to know what you're appreciated for and when you are appreciated. 

I'm not nice. Sue me.

My 2016 ended with me pushing myself a little too hard and getting rather sick because of it. Every year I try to look back and see where the year’s gone and what I would have changed (if I was omniscient and ruler of world.)

I think it’s clear from 2016 that the world is becoming more divisive and polarising. From Trump to an increasingly disenfranchised public the world is just a little bit more argumentative and we’re all just a little more stubborn in our beliefs.

Which shouldn’t be unexpected for anyone. In a world now dominated by social media and the internet, we now get our news more from headlines rather than the articles themselves. Nowadays if you can’t express your feelings and ideas in 128 characters or less, then why even bother. No one is going to read nor has the time to read past 128 characters.

Worse still is that we presume to understand an increasingly complex world using only one hundred and twenty eight characters. In doing so, some of the context and meaning behind everything we read is left behind. Not understanding the full picture, the world becomes a little less empathetic towards each other and we make less of an effort towards thinking about the other people’s opinions and arguments.

To fill this newfound emptiness of having no idea what’s happening outside our little world, internet users and the public alike have resorted to using dank memes and click bait headlines to make ourselves feel better.

To feed our incessant need for self-justification in what we do and being outraged, we use social media to share dank memes, articles ridiculing Trump and laugh at the misfortune of others. “How can anyone be so stupid,” we say to ourselves.

Let us be honest, social media has devolved into nothing more than a tool to make us feel good about ourselves.

“Look, so and so liked this headline of this unoriginal, derivative post criticising something that is really obviously dumb. I don’t have a better alternative to it, but I think I should share it with the rest of my world because I’m a global informed citizen.”

“And because I have 57 likes, I must be right!”

“In fact I am so right, I’m not even going to read other opinions on the issues.”

“Look how much smarter I am compared to the rest of the plebs who disagree with me! (They don’t have 57 likes!)”

“Self righteous-fury! More dank memes!”

Looking at Trump and the Brexit campaign, one can see how their respective campaigns were ultimately successful. They were successful in pandering to these destructive instincts, where they found a dissatisfied part of the public who were just okay with just criticising other ideas for their flaws and never evaluating them for their merits.

Tearing down establishment and leaving nothing in its place is something 2017 could do well in avoiding.

~TastyJack~

Do you struggle with being too funny? When you say something serious, does your friends laugh because they don't understand the concept of humor?

If you answered yes, to either of those questions, then, oh boy, is this the post for you!

Being too funny is a really serious problem in today's society. Sometimes, funny people just aren't taken seriously and the views of comedians are just not heard.

Three simple rules will make you people take you seriously again.

1. When you say a joke, make sure you tell everyone it's a joke and make sure you explain the joke to them. It might not be obvious to everyone.

2. When you say a joke, make sure you laugh at your own joke. Scientist have found that laughing at your own jokes, makes the jokes less funny.

3. Assert dominance by maintaining eye contact after you say a joke. Do not waver or blink until they start laughing.

Combine, these three laws, (similar to Newton's Three Laws of Motion) are Jackson's Three Laws of Unfunny.

By doing the above, I guarantee everyone will take you seriously again.

~TastyJack~

When the hardest part of this year's birthday is the thank you post, you know you've had a birthday. 

This year, I'm not going to lie, I was really wondering whether I should continue with having a birthday. There were a lot of cons and very few lines in the pros columns. In the end, I think it was the tradition of it all that I wasn't willing to throw away. 

Every year I worry a lot about whether everyone will have fun and whether everyone will have anything to do. I try and think of things to do that will get everyone involved and talking. 

I always have an idea of how everything will go but it never does. 

In the end, for all the planning in the world, it is the people who come and the friends that define a night. Everyone year, I wonder who to invite and whether everyone will get along. This year in particular everyone seemed to click just a little bit more. 

First and foremost, to David, the biggest thank you for all the help you gave me. From the shopping, to helping us with the food preparation to the the actual food preparation, thank you so much. 

To Mikey, Susan, Nancy and Amanda, thank you for bringing the xbox/salad/salad/bestmusicever to ease the organisation off of me. 

To everyone who came, thank you for wonderful night. I hope, despite the small teething problems, you all enjoyed yourselves as well. A particular thank you those who donated. We raised $159 of towards BeyondBlue this year. It means a lot, to be able to put a decent donation towards a charity close to my heart each year. 

It means just that little bit more when the money is raised together from my friends.

In this sense, I want to move this "thing" away from it being my birthday and just being a yearly gathering/fundraiser. I mean why bother labeling it as a birthday when we don't do anything remotely birthday related. 

(But all that is for next year) 

As we all grow older year by year, we start to drift apart both figuratively and literally. Sometimes holding on to to these traditions is one of the few things that holds us together. 

~TastyJacks~

I don't know whether if I'm just getting old (lol) or I'm just getting cynical, but I've started to hate using absolutes.

When I was a kid, I used absolutes all the time. I never get less than 90% on test slowly became I have never failed a test to "I never failed a test unless you count my driving test but I don't count that because Asian things."

And there's all the other positive absolutes we used to use. "I always brush my teeth" to "I always brush my teeth unless I'm really tired" to "I always brush my teeth unless I'm really tired or I'm at my friends house without my toothbrush"

Absolutes suck

Always and never

Never and always

Never say always

Always Never forget

When I first meet people, yeah, I'm like, they're pretty cool. Then I get to know them a bit better. And I think yeah, I could their be their friend. Then you get to know them a bit better and be like, yeah would could be friends forever.

Of course I don't plan for an end date. I don't become friends with someone expecting 6 months to go by and then be like I'm not going to be friends at the end of it. No one does that. You plan for forever.

Unless I'm weird (which wouldn't surprise me at all.)

But something always (ironically) comes up. Maybe you argue, maybe someone gets in the way, a  job out of town. you just drift apart or you just don't have time for each other.

I've always wanted to be a doctor or I will never give up on whatever you're trying to do. I never get sick. More absolutes that I'm going to say probably isn't true.

Absolutes are just lies.

~TastyJack~

You know when you've left an issue for too long and it becomes too awkward to address it? For example, when you get introduced to someone for the first time and then you instantly forget it. Of course, you don't ask them for their name again, because that's too awkward.

When you don't resolve an argument with a friend.

When you find the small flaws grow to become too big
When you don't return a call. 

When you leave things unsaid. 

When we don't say problems and just keep it to ourselves. 

 You want to say something about that something. Yet you don't, to preserve what you have.

Yeah, that feeling sucks.

And eventually it all becomes normal. All the things that was left unsaid becomes the status quo. 

Then you go on with your friendship. And you're like, well we can't talk about that anymore. Then the next problem comes up. And you don't really want to talk about that because it's too much like the first problem. And the circle of things-you-don't-talk-about grows a little. Then it happens again.

And then you lose something more than just that initial small circle. The circle becomes to big to squash back down anymore.

We know that we should put a stop to it. Fix it before it gets out of hand

~TastyJack~