Giving Advice to Friends

by TastyJack Tuesday, February 11, 2014 0 comments

Hey guys! I've had a wonderful week both pleasant and eventful. We had a multiplayer game of civilization and we're at a pretty critical stage of the game at the moment. Still, I'm pretty sure I'm too far in science to lose the game. Although Declan has literally 20 frigates just beelinin..I DIGRESS.

I'm sure no one came here to hear about my multiplayer civilization exploits. Right?

So, somewhat amusingly I asked all my close friends a question about my life. One of my quirks so to speak. (its the one about not seeing movies with certain... people.)

Like don't get me wrong, I did want everyone's opinions, but it became clear after a while that all my friends were not going to take my side. So, how people went about reasoning their opinion was far more interesting.

I don't know whats worst, me thinking about this or me writing about it.

Some are logical about their rationale. Some are cynical and merciless. Others can't even be bothered explaining their logics and either (hopefully) assumed I saw the flaw in my own argument or that the logic was too difficult for me to comprehend. Others tried to be sympathetic and apologized for disagreeing with me before telling me I was wrong. 

My friends are extraordinary. They all told me what they thought and not what I wanted to hear. Some of them took it a step further and pointedly told me its something that I could do differently in the future. Others just let me go ahead draw my own conclusions from all my friends opinions. 

We all have our ways of getting our points to our friends especially, the close ones who we know well. We know what pushes their buttons and what doesn't. When we see something in our friends that could be better, its very hard to get advice across. 

When we put forward advice to our friends about them, we presume to know better than them and better than they know themselves. It is harsh when you think about it. We're friends not parents.

But that's why we are there, as friends, its our job to say those uncomfortable truths, rather than letting it fester and grow. 

Otherwise, no one else is going to say it if our own friends aren't going to say it.

N.B. I'm going away for a week, so I won't be answering facebook or emails. You should still be able to reach me on my phone.

~TastyJacks~